Why Me?

I just don’t want to be here,
Forcing myself to live through the day.
My never ending cycles,
That cannot be wished away.

My anger surges,
And I am left here to wonder why.
Why this strong desire,
The need to want to die.

On the other side,
Is this place filled with delight,
Rich in beauty and peace,
Where being filled with joy is right.

Is this a blessing,
Or is this a curse?
I ask, “Why to me
Did You disburse,

Such diverse emotions,
Of a roller coaster ride,
One that lifts up,
And one that makes me want to hide.

I feel like a stranger inside myself…