Banished to the desert of my mind,
Thirsting for Your living water,
I was the one who walked away from the well,
My thoughts continually wander.
I am stuck in a made-up world of my own,
I keep walking into each illusion,
Ambivalent to my reality,
I am in a state of delusion.
You are there in all Your glory,
Sitting on Your white throne,
Your bright light fervor and blazing,
As I stand in my shadow on the ground.
I decide to soar up aloft,
To the colored arch You have made,
I remember Your binding covenant,
I turn, becoming my own slave.
I plummet down into a snake hole,
A grave dug just for me,
I shreik, I scream, I stomp,
As I wander in the dead roots of a tree.
A break in the thought,
Like shattering ice,
I suddenly am in total dark,
A dark I could not slice.
Terror overwhelms, overcomes,
In my frame, it survives,
Like a palpating heart,
Pounding, it’s alive.
This vision, this dream,
That plunders in my head,
Makes me long for You,
I don’t want to go mad.